My Cheap and Easy Christmas Card.....

Since every penny, nickel and dime that comes in our house has been going towards baby stuff, we didn't send out Christmas cards this year but I still wanted everyone to know that I love them and I wish nothing but good things for this Christmas and the coming year.

This Christmas has been a little rough and I've had quite the struggle to feel the "Christmas Spirit" (which, for anyone who knows me is, is COMPLETELY off-character. Usually it's a struggle for me to wait until Thanksgiving just so I can put up the tree the next day). I think that a good bit of my Christmas-lameness has to do with pregnancy hormones (yes, I AM pulling that card!) but I've had a hard time not feeling sorry for myself that my life isn't exactly what I pictured, or worrying about being able to buy awesome presents for everyone or that I don't get to have the whole maternity-leave time I was planning or having a picture-perfect nursery to put the baby in, or that I miss my brothers and sister and I can't talk to them whenever I want.... the list goes on and on. I even bummed out on our night planned to decorate the Christmas tree (I think this was when I started to notice that Evan was treating me like a snarling lion whose teeth needed cleaning....)

I was feeling especially sorry for myself one day when I saw a little post on Facebook about Cpl Derek Wyatt. He was killed in Afghanistan just 3 days before his wife was due with their first little baby. His wife found out she had lost her husband and then gave birth to their son just a few hours later. I couldn't get her out of my head and when I came home from work to find the house spotless, dinner on the table and a big bouquet of white lilies, I was able to see everything I have that alot (dare I say, most?) people don't have.  I am so so so grateful that I get to experience being pregnant and that I have Evan as the daddy. He's been so awesome, going to all the Dr appts with me, taking me to the store at all hours of the day and night (I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to just look at baby clothes and socks and blankets and every other imaginable thing that could be related to babies), he massages my back and legs and gets me whatever food I desire.

I'm so so grateful to people like Cpl. Wyatt and his family who make the ultimate sacrifice so that I can be safe in my home. There are so many husbands, brothers and sons who will spend Christmas alone and so many families who will have an empty chair for their hero. My heart is humbled and softened as I think of the Christmas Cpl Wyatt's wife will have and so many others. I don't think there is anything that anyone could do or say that would take away her pain but I like to think that if I be the best person I can be and go out of my way to make others feel better and make my little world around me a better place to be, I am honoring the cause that so many have died for.

One of my favorite Christmas songs was a poem written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. During the Civil War, Longfellow's oldest son joined the Union cause as a soldier without his father's blessing. Longfellow was informed by a letter after his son had left. "I have tried hard to resist the temptation of going without your leave but I cannot any longer," he wrote. "I feel it to be my first duty to do what I can for my country and I would willingly lay down my life for it if it would be of any good".  His son was severely wounded and coupled with the recent loss of his wife Frances, who died as a result of an accidental fire, Longfellow was inspired to write "Christmas Bells".

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play, And wild and sweet the words repeat Of peace on earth, good will to men. I thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along th'unbroken song Of peace on earth, good will to men. And in despair I bowed my head: 'There is no peace on earth, ' I said 'For hate is strong, and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men.' Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, With peace on earth, good will to men.' Till, ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day A voice, a chime, a chant sublime, Of peace on earth, good will to men.